Burning the candle at both ends since 1982.

Thursday, August 23, 2007

Well, ladies. It's the end of an era. I knew it was coming, but I didn't realize how saddened I'd be. JANE magazine, purveyor of irreverance in the world of women's magazines (that world usually consists of bronzer and sex how-tos), is officially kaput.

What other magazine is going to give me Zooey Deschanel on the cover and tips on how to not look hungover at work? Dammit!!

This is the crap I get when I go to http://www.janemag.com/. Behold. (Click for legible-ness...if that's a word.)

















The same crap happened to me months ago when I went to http://www.formemagazine.com/, only to be cryptically sent to the Web site for Woman's Day. Ew.

You probably think I'm months behind, but I'm really not. I'm also a JANE subscriber, so today I received a pretty unceremonious direct mail card in my mailbox stating: "JANE has stopped publishing."

Really? Thanks for telling me, because I sure as hell don't have my September issue yet!

It goes on to state that I'll be receiving Allure in its place, and if I already subscribe, it will be tacked onto my subscription. Hey, I get business - I know it's also a Conde Nast publication, but why the hell would a JANE subscriber also read Allure?

I am now forced to receive monthly the magazine with the same "grunge chic" font on its cover since the mid-90s. The magazine that can devote 16 pages to the debate over cream vs. gel blush. The magazine that allowed Britney on their cover without even demanding an interview. Puh-lease.

Allure is probably giddy with their circulation numbers that are going to jump.

So to do the glossy rag justice, I'm going to recall my most-remembered JANE moments, stream-of-consciouness style:

  • Annemarie Conte chronicling her eight-hour work day in a "nude" office environment...I vividly remember her discussing their use of disposable plastic "chair covers"
  • the editor's letter featuring a photo of a subway sandwich emblazoned with mustard that stated "I will not be ignored!"...this lovely treat was used to woo a male, showing how aggressive behavior can make guys freak the eff out

  • the graphically adorable six degrees of separation expose on HBO's "Big Love"
  • The same 5 questions we always ask - what other magazine can ask the same damn questions over and over and it's not boring? My favorite question was, "craziest place you've ever had sex?"
  • Their party ideas that highly encouraged anti-Martha habits such as faking it with takeout and providing beers in the can

Sigh. Such a good run. RIP, JANE.

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